Why I'd Rather Wrestle a Grizzly Than Deal With Fall Lawn Care (But Here's How I Conquer It Anyway)

Let's face it, when fall rolls around, the last thing any of us wants to do is spend every waking moment battling leaves and lawn pests. I mean, come on, with a life as jam-packed as mine—from coding wizardry to dodging dog hair from Bella, Sky, and Snowball—wrestling with nature isn’t exactly my idea of a good time. But hey, somebody's gotta do it, and that somebody is, unfortunately, me.

The War on Leaves: My Strategic Combat Plan

Here’s the dirty truth: Leaves might look picturesque on those brisk autumn days, but they're like the uninvited party guests that just won’t leave. With my trusty rake, blower, and a bit of that ‘never-say-die’ attitude, I’ve turned leaf removal into an art form. Or at least, a mildly enjoyable chore.

And, if you think raking is where this story ends, you’ve got another thing coming. See, it’s not just about clearing them out; it’s about optimizing the whole process. Why just move leaves around when you can turn them into compost for next season’s victory garden, right?

Dodging the Pest Bullet: My Secret Weapons

Now, let’s talk creepy crawlies and all the uninvited yard guests. As someone who might be described as ‘meticulously scatter-brained,’ I can’t afford to let my guard down against these tiny invaders. From nematodes to those infuriatingly resilient moles, I’ve faced them all. And my approach? A mix of DIY traps and professional-grade repellents that keep them guessing.

It’s about staying one step ahead, always tweaking the system—whether it’s a new spray or changing up the yard’s layout. Keeps them on their toes, you know?

Things I've Tried That You Shouldn't

• Turning the hose on a molehill (turns out, they can swim).
• DIY garlic-mint spray (resulted in a salad-smelling yard with no pest control perks).
• Planting marigolds everywhere (looked pretty, did nothing for pests).
• Adopting a cat to reduce pests (the cat was more interested in my chess games).

After these, ahem, learning experiences, I now stick to proven methods and keep experimenting—responsibly.

Grass: My Evergreen Love Story

Between you and me, nurturing the perfect lawn is kind of my white whale. I’ve tried every trick in the book—from high-end grass treatments to singing to my sod (don’t judge, we all have our moments). The key? Consistency and a bit more consistency. And okay, fine, a robust grass treatment plan that doesn’t take shortcuts.

It’s all about setting up systems, much like the logistics in my businesses or plotting the perfect family RV trip. Once you’ve got the right routine down, it’s just a matter of time before your lawn is causing neighbors to stop and stare (and yeah, maybe a little envy).

Over to You

So, after spilling all my secrets and possibly admitting to more lawn care failures than I’d typically share in polite company, what about you? Got any fall care tips or epic fail stories to top mine?